|
Setting the Problem
One of the major problems with any approach to happiness is that we have
to decide what would make us happy in the first place before we can set
out on the journey to get it; for the journey is defined by the goal. In
most cases we simply follow societies general norm as to what constitutes
happiness and our current norms place material possessions above all else
and our lives are geared to this way of living. In the case of material
abundance we can easily say what we want; possessions, freedom from want,
living surrounded by beautiful things and so on. If we find that palls we
can add in someone to love us unconditionally, the list goes on.
If however we already know that these things do not make us happy and
fulfilled then the search take a different route. In times gone by it was
often the religious life that we followed but in the modern era it is much
fuzzier and is usually called the spiritual quest. Even here we feel we
have to have some notion as to what this means and how it can be
accomplished. Here, whatever road we choose, it usually means that we
profess to follow a path which changes us into something different, happy,
fulfilled at peace with ourselves, free, complete, etc. Once we have set
out on this journey, which we assume will take us from dissatisfaction to
perfection; we begin to accumulate a variety of ways and methods by which
we can achieve our goal and depending on how we see that goal will
determine what methods we use. For most of us we end up looking for
someone to guide us and show us the way and, though we may think we freely
choose the path we take, it is in fact all guided by the conditioning that
we have had since our inception. The choice is not really free.
|
Seekers Choices
The spiritual seeker is faced with a bewildering array of choices;
religions all jostling for their attention, Christianity with a
thousand sects; Islam, supposedly a unitary religion but still divided
in its interpretation of the supposedly final words; Buddhism, constant
in it’s basic premise but varied in its ways to Awaken; Daoism;
Hinduism, the list goes on,. Modern day choices can lead us back to the
past, to North American Indian ways, Gnosticism, Wicca, and modern
developments such as Scientology and Anthroposophy. In addition to the
religious routes the modern era has spawned a wide range of new ways to
live, which become a way of life, rather than a philosophical pastime;
there are countless therapies and methods all professing to lead you to
an abundant and fulfilled life.
Many of the above ways
are overt, open for us to try and experience but they very much rely on
the idea of an ego, a person, a thing, that has somehow wrong with it
and all of these offerings are going to put it right; this thing is
identified with a body/mind, which is one among many, which can be
manipulated into being right. |
 |
This is a beguiling idea,
indeed it is the commonly accepted view of the human being, all we need to
find is the right method for us and we can change into this new being,
free of the old problems. This ego fixation is kept in place, not only by
the commonly accepted ideas, but also by the physical being’s apparent
separateness from other objects that occupy our universe. As we experience
the world we reference everything to this self, this ego, and this
body/mind that seems to be autonomous and independent from all of these
other beings. This picture is greatly persuasive, it seems commonsense and
yet through the ages voices have been raised to challenge this view,
voices that have had a different experience, which we label mysterious
because usually the words from such individuals do not seem to make sense.
Here too we have a clue as to what keeps the illusion in place, it is the
words we use. We are a loquacious animal and we love words and our love
affair with them means that we invest them with powers they don’t have.
Words allow us to communicate very effectively when we have the same
language and the words we use are precise in nature. This is very true in
the sciences of mathematics, physics and chemistry, though it begins to
crumble round the edges when we get into subjects dealing with feelings
and inner descriptions. This difficulty with words would be less of a
problem if everyone speaking recognised the limitations of words when
conveying information, especially in philosophy and psychology and
spirituality. In fact this rarely happens; indeed we tend to treat words
as though they were the thing being described, leading to a rigidity of
views and our missing the truth.
Looking for our
True Selves
The message of the mystical tradition, particularly in Eastern religious
traditions, is quite the reverse of the exoteric traditions, both east and
west. The experience of these practitioners is that our true self is not
the body or emotions or feelings, that direct enquiry within ourselves can
show us what resides behind all of the layers that we create. Our real
self is simply awareness, an awareness that is there whether or not our
mind and thoughts concur and it operates without our conscious control,
providing answers that are not accessible to our conscious minds. This
viewpoint leads us along a different path, which is no longer a journey
but a knowing, no longer a matter of effort and action but a matter of
seeing things as they really are. It is no longer necessary to modify and
sculpt ourselves into some shape determined by others, which is in itself
an endless futile exercise that is doomed to failure because it is rooted
in a wrong view, but simply recognise our true nature.
The movement into this mystery is for most of us a frightening experience
because it asks us to let go of control and trying to control what we are
and what is happening to us. Instead we are being asked to simply be what
we really are. At this point we are inclined to run away and find someone
or something that is comforting, points us towards the hope of an easy
path, someone to carry us until we get there. It is at this point that we
need ways and means that allow us to stay with those feelings and move
through them into deeper levels of our being on a journey of continuous
discovery. And what will follow is a variety of tools that can help us in
this predicament.
Ways and Means
 |
Relaxation
It has become a truism of our times that we can’t relax; that we have
no time to let go of the tensions accumulated during the day and we’ll
get round to it tomorrow, which of course never comes. Relaxation is
important for more than health reasons. Our fundamental conditioning,
which started when we were in the womb, sets who we are for the rest of
our days, unless we consciously do something about it. The way in which
conditioning works is by forcing us to constrict away from pressure
exerted because we were not doing what our environment wanted us to do.
Our main conditioning comes from parents and family and we soon learn
what is required of us and in the end the environment in which we live
has no need to pressure us because we do it for them. We have learned
what is required of us and we self condition to avoid sanctions. The
effect of our punishing environment, be it mild or severe, is to put us
on alert to anticipate what might come i.e. we are never relaxed.
|
A
simple physical relaxation technique
Here is one simple physical method which is designed to be useful in
everyday situations: it doesn't aim at deep relaxation or require you to
lie down for half an hour! Rather, it aims to reduce unnecessary levels of
tension, so that you can continue with your current activity more
effectively. It can be used just about anywhere - sitting in a lecture or
examination, walking down the street, or going to sleep.
How it works
In the early part of this century it was recognised that when people first
tense up and then relax muscle groups, they ended up more relaxed than
when they began. In fact this is a natural process that we all use, for
example when we stretch or yawn.
The key to this particular method lies in two factors:
That we learn the difference in the sensations of being tense and being
relaxed.
That it gives signals to the subconscious and "automatic" parts of our
system (the autonomic nervous system) that "all is well", "there is no
need to be tense any longer", and it is your autonomic nervous system
which will do the real work by slowing down your heart rate, stopping
the release of adrenaline into your blood stream, etc. - things which
we do not normally have under our conscious control.
|
Hence the exercises
themselves are deceptively simple but, like all relaxation methods, it
takes time and practice for this to be useful in real-life stressful
situations.
The Method
For each of the areas of the body described it is suggested that you tense
and then relax muscle groups. Do each exercise three times and as you get
better with time at relaxing these areas you can use less tension before
relaxing.
Hands
Hands are commonly one of the first parts of our body to show tension,
when they tense up, they tend to either clench up into a fist, or to hold
tight onto something, such as the arm of a chair, or to clasp each other.
Instead, try stretching out your hands so that your fingers are straight
and spread out. Hold that position for a moment and feel the tension
across your palms and the back of your hands. Then let your hands relax
and flop beside you, or on your lap. Resist the urge to hold onto
something, just let them hang loosely beside you or let them rest on your
lap. When hands are relaxed, the fingers are gently curved, neither
tightly curled nor straight, and are "floppy", not stiff.
Shoulders
When we are tense our shoulders are commonly raised i.e. hunched. Instead,
pull your shoulders down and feel the tension under your arms and up your
neck, hold that position for a moment, then let them relax and stay in a
natural position (i.e. not hunched).
Head and neck
The neck muscles can only relax when they don't have to support the weight
of your head - i.e. if you are lying down comfortably with your head
supported in a straight line with your spine or if you are standing or
sitting, with your head balanced and looking straight ahead, neither
angled to one side nor looking up or down.
If you spend a lot of time looking down, either reading, typing or writing
etc, try looking right up and feel the tension in your neck, then, allow
your head to return to the straight ahead, balanced position.
Face
There are many muscles in our face, used of course for speaking, eating,
facial expression etc. It has been calculated that we hold 40% of our
tension in our jaw and so the face is one of the areas most likely to show
tension. As with other muscle groups it is possible to tense up and then
relax these muscles. However, do not do this if you wear either contact
lenses or dentures as they could be damaged. So here is an alternative
method, which has the additional advantage of being less obtrusive in
company.
Let all expression go from your face: let your forehead relax and smooth,
your jaw sag, with your teeth just apart, (though your lips may still be
closed), your eyes looking straight ahead and into the distance and not
squinting.
If you think of a word which describes this particular expression -
"vacant"; "empty"; "relaxed"; "gormless" are some possibilities, you may
feel tense when seen by others so just let go.
Breathing
When you are tense your breathing tends to become faster and shallower so
allow your breathing to come from lower down in your abdomen. This doesn't
mean inhaling a lot of air, just a little air but from low down. This will
help you to slow your breathing down a little (but don't actually hold
your breath). Let it become gentle, easy and regular. Once it is
comfortable, you may be able to slow your breathing a little more.
[Some people find that thinking about their breathing is counterproductive
as it increases anxiety. If you find this applies to you just stay with
the anxiety as it is a result of relaxing rather than breathing
differently.
|
Meditation
Meditation is a much misused word and it is applied to almost any
system that is attempting to manipulate our mind into changing state.
The answer is not to keep looking for more and better ways of
manipulating your mind but to realise your true nature and so not need
to try to recondition yourself for you are OK already. The two ways
given below are not manipulations but an ever deepening process of
letting things be as they are.
Mindfulness on the Breath
As long as we are alive we are always breathing. Meditation on the
breath means simply keeping one’s attention on the natural process of
breathing. You are not trying to hold it in a particular form but allow
it to happen without any interference and the focus should be relaxed,
not forced, as it is not a concentration exercise.
Take a moment to look at your breathing and see where in your body you
can most clearly see and experience your breath as it happens. Focus on
that place and simply watch the act of breathing. If your attention
moves away from the breath, simply take it back to where you were
focusing. Begin afresh at each new breath, remaining fully aware as the
breath continues to happen. Remain aware. |
 |
This technique is not like
discursive meditation, it being a matter of awareness of what is going on.
The breath is ideal because as we slow down our breath also gets lighter
meaning that we have to increase our awareness.
Oneness
Meditation
This takes meditation a step further away from being something that we do,
it has no direction, goals, or method because all methods are designed to
get you somewhere, whether that be a calm place, an awareness of what is
happening to us or bliss. None of these bring you to ultimate reality,
simply to another state of being where you are still aware of someone or
something meditating.
Oneness meditation appears spontaneously when our attention is not fixed
on objects. When you first start to meditate, you notice that awareness is
always focused on some object, either inside ourselves or external to us.
This simply follows our conditioned patterns and so we are not in simple
awareness with no naming judging, but in a separated state of subject and
object, no matter how subtle
In Oneness meditation everything is left alone to be what it and all that
we are ‘doing’ is being in awareness itself. In this state of
non-judgement there is no good or bad, everything is happening just as it
should be happening. In this awareness silence and stillness are there not
because we have worked our way into those mo=des but they are simply a
product of the awareness, which is your natural way of Being.
Silence and stillness are not states and therefore cannot be produced or
created. Silence being that in which all states rise and fall, as is their
wont. Coming to this is to come to a state of Presence, a condition of
unity with everything, in which we often think we have reconnected with
the Source of things, which is not a thing in itself. If we have an intent
in all this to discover Who You Are then that question will be answered in
Oneness Meditation if you pose it before entering the Oneness meditation.
 |
Finding the Source
To get to this depth of meditation we need to go through a process one
goes which is a series of re-orientations, each one taking you closer
to the Source and therefore the answer to your questions. We start with
the patterns of the past, our conditioning if you will, which has
produced a rather rigid framework that can only produce the same
answers as before. This is summed up by Bandler, who with Grinder
developed NLP, when he said “If you keep on doing what you have always
done, you will always get what you always got”.
To move forward toward
the truth of the matter, we first of all must have the intention to
find that truth, whether it be spiritual, social or managerial and be
directing ourselves towards that. This requires us, and the group, to
suspend our normal way of being, keeping an open mind and enter into a
phase of detached enquiry and reflection. |
We then have to move to a new position of an open heart, which is an
empathic position because it begins to free us from our usual I-You
position. And here we dive below the thinking mind, let go of old notions
and tune into future possibilities. We let go of what we have in order to
let the future possibilities appear.
In the letting go we move to connect to the Source and enter a state of
Presencing, which involves a particular way of being aware of, and
experiencing, the present moment, when we link to our highest potential.
As you go beyond that threshold letting go and surrendering is the first
principle, everything that is not essential must go. This part of the
process is known as inversion, or passing through the eye of a needle,( in
German it literally means turning inside out and outside in). At this
point we are operating from our Authentic Self and are seeing everything
from a different viewpoint. At first it is just a connection to that Self
but, as you practice, you deepen and strengthen that connection. From that
point of knowing you move up the U curve to develop solutions and see ways
of implementing them.
The above process is a road less travelled. From a religious point of view
it is seen as a dying to self, not easy at any time. We don’t take this
route because of inner resistances, whether we are on a spiritual journey
or trying to change the way an organisation operates. For any form of
change the individual will meet with RESISTANCE from their established
self or ego, which is adept at resisting change and expert in making us
think we are changing when deep down we are not. There are three powerful
voices that will speak if we embark on this process.
The Voice of Judgement. A voice that comes from old limiting patterns
of thought and judgement. Unless this inner judge is dealt with it is
extremely difficult to reach the deeper levels of the U Curve.
The Voice of Cynicism We all have coping strategies to deal with
reality and one major one is to disconnect from what we are
experiencing. We then use our negative emotions, such as cynicism or
arrogance, to stay disconnected.
The Voice of Fear Our coping strategies are usually deployed to protect
us from a perceived harm and any threat will result in our defences
being mobilised to
maintain the status quo. Here in this process we are being asked to let
go of our familiar self and surrender ourselves into what appears from
our logical minds point of view to be nothing ness.
|
These forces of resistance
operate on an individual and collective level and need to be overcome if
we wish to realise what we already are.
In these few pages we have touched on a number of signposts along the way
to the freedom we desire. All of us will be in different places on this
journey, for it is a journey. To take it we need to prepare and we will
find that we can use a wide variety of tools and help in progressing along
this path. We should not get hooked on words and labels. For instance it
is unwise to separate out psychological and spiritual for it is likely
that we will deprive ourselves of a vast range of help if we do.
Flexibility of mind is required and a willingness to try things that
appear to offer us some assistance. The path is sometimes a solitary one
but we should avail ourselves of support if offered and, in the
psychological foothills of our journey, we may well find forms of therapy
and assistance that can help us to free ourselves from the conditioning
that our childhood, and life, has put upon us and so more easily climb the
steep slopes to that Presence which is our natural home.
return to main menu
|
